Tag Archives: women

Tips on Creature Comforts from my Facebook Posse! (Beds, Bras, Skin-care, and much more…)

olive grove-001It seems I’ve tapped into some serious zeitgeist over on Facebook in the last months, as I’ve been exploring some of my creature comfort needs…and it’s turned into some mighty social media crowd sourcing!  Thank you to all of you who have given me your tips on things like, you know, bras.  And skin care products.  And beds.  And tea.  And happy songs.  And a lot of other things too.

It all started with these words:  ”Help!  My face has fallen and it can’t get up!”  That got 97 comments in about half an hour.  Then: (heck– why not)  ”Help!  My boobs have fallen and they can’t get up!”  64 comments, rapido rapido.  Beds:  75 great tips, and fast.  The ultimate Earl Grey?  Lots of Earl drinkers out there, turns out.  Even names for a strong female protagonist (213 comments).  In fact, my Facebook friends have helped me so much, that I thought it would be helpful to create a list of some of their best tips, with some of the comments, here on my blog.  So here you go.   I haven’t tried 99.9% of any of them yet.   Still sleeping in a 15 year old squeaky bed, using water on my face, period, and am helplessly devoted to a few old jog bras.  But looks like that all might change!

Creature comfort wisdom from my Facebook friends. 

SKIN LINES

Beauty Counter  (started by a friend of mine!)

From the Lab  (started by a friend of mine!)

La Mer – “pricey but worth it”

Coconut Oil – “eat it too!”

Indian Meadows Herbals – Love your Face Cream “Love Your Face Cream – Original Formula. It’s fabulous. I like all of their products. It’s made with 76% organic herbs, oils, and aloe. I use it every day, and I’m 57. If only they’d invent something that works for under-eye circles!”

Dermalogica – “ used Dermalogica for 25 years. Night repair creams, oils, and masks are important now, especially in MT. Above all drink an insane amount of water to keep your brain and skin hydrated.”

Rodan + Fields – “#1 anti aging skin line in America and I’ll give you the “author” discount”

Amlactin – “You can purchase it over the counter in any pharmacy. It’s an alpha hydroxy lotion. That combined with Retin A – which you need a prescription for. I use Retin A every night and Amlactin twice a day. But be careful using Amlactin till your skin adjusts to the Retin A because it can sting when your skin is fragile. Takes time to adjust to Retin A. Go super sparingly in the beginning! This is the regimen recommended by my deem. I think it has helped my skin!”

Tata Harper

Cetaphil – “Recommended by my dermatologist. Followed by some Paula’s Choice products.”

Paula’s Choice

Oil of Olay

Nerium AD

Kiels – “no more expensive products”

Roc Moisturizer

Arbonne – “Arbonne is by far the best. I am 64 and have been using it for 7 years. Seriously, Laura, it’s good stuff. I just got back from a Convention and they reformulated the RE9 line and it is super clean and nontoxic…..I can give you some samples when I get to town.”  “Loveeeee anti aging line, pure ingredients, safe, green, just as beneficial as the number one skincare line but has safe ingredients!!”

Mary Kay – “You wouldn’t believe how forward thinking the company is now and it exceeds European Union standards as far as cosmetic companies go.”

Dr. Hauschka

Boots UK

No. 7

Image Skin Care –  https://www.imageskincare.com/ “I am not fifty, but I do love the changes I’ve noticed in my skin since using their ageless and lightening lines (tighter, brighter, less fine lines) and am all about preventative care. Raw honey makes a fantastic face cleanser.”

Zillis Zen Renew – “It’s got Botox effects without the Botox. Ladies are going crazy over it”

Elta MD Sunscreen –  It’s medical grade , affordable, and has no nasty parabans, etc. Aside from that, I use botox and Instagram filters.” “I agree, I use their tinted sunscreen”

Shisedodo

Beauty Counter

Plexus

Synchronology Skincare – rocks and is reasonably priced

Clarins

Rosehip and Baobab oil – “as a moisturizer.  Also Emu oil if that’s up your alley.”

Ponds Night Cream – “ My grandmother swore by ponds night cream under the eyes every night. I am sticking to it! Plus, the smell is soooo nice.”

Cerave - “ especially if you have sensitive skin. Dermatologist recommended this years ago.”

Botox

Skin Medica TNS – from a derm nurse

My Prime Transformative Cream –  It is a little $$ but worth it. I also love

YBF Correct eye cream – “but this one’s too $$ for me, so I don’t use it any more.”

Kar Gran Cosmetics –  I wrote an essay for them because I love their clean, aromatic oils: https://blog.karigran.com/wearyourselfin/new-test-article/

RoC

Envrion – “it’s amazing”

Beyond good lotions & potions, get good consistent sleep, hydration (H20) and avoid salt and alcohol as much as you can stand and still ‘live a little.’ Plus Retin A. And exercise to get the blood flowing.

Neutrogena - “works well with all skin types”

Grace green Beauty –  https://gracegreenbeauty.com/

Loccitane Immortelle Divine Cream

Salt water rines (made with sea salt and bottled water. Use coconut oil as moisturizer

Chanel Sublimage – Cleanser, Serum, Eye Cream Moisturizer – “the best”

Willing Beauty –  “just launched this month its a sister company of origami owl, I have been using a week and it’s AMAZING “

Lancome Renergie – at Costco online

Differin – “which basically Retin A started out as — is a prescription strength form of retinol sold over the counter. My dermatologist made me start after I had some burn related discoloration on face. But it is a miracle worker on fine lines and such. I use one week on one week off.” “ Differin is $13 at Target recommended by my dermatologist instead of Retin A.”

Olay Regenerist

Orgins Drink up Intensive Overnight mask – “use it all winter”

Skinceuticals

Laurel Whole Plant Organics – “100% natural”

Murad – “scents aren’t overhwleming and they dont’ engage in animal testing”

And this one made me LOL.  I’ve never done Botox, or a Medical Peel, but this person has a lot to say about it, and she’s funny!

Medical Grade Chemical Peel - “ I don’t believe in spending $80 on a jar of cream when you can spend $80 once a month for a medical grade chemical peel at a medspa. In the city, you can get Botox for $4.50 a unit on Groupon and for 30 units, not have a wrinkle for the next 4 months. I tell my aesthetician that I want to look young but still be able to shoot a look across the room to my son that says, “Knock that shit off right now.” She somehow nails it every time. I have total movement. Yes, I think doing a peel four weeks apart makes so much difference! I do them for four months in a row and then bask in the glory of nothing for six months and then start them again. Also, my partner is an anesthesiologist and he just did one treatment with an in office thing called a skinpen and his colleagues all said he looked 15 years younger. I am going to try that next. It’s around $125 for one treatment and he had one six months ago but is about to have another one now before his daughters grad school graduation.

Here’s the thing about chemical peels – for the first one, if you had a loaded gun in your hand you’d shoot yourself because you just can’t believe it’s okay and that the pain will actually stop. It does stop. Five minutes in. The second time you have it is much better. The first one is just really nasty because you have so much old skin to burn off until you get to the dermis. The third time, I could be emailing colleagues it’s so easy. Like Botox, the more you do it, the more it starts PREVENTING damage. Mostly because you always have fresh, new, glowing skin. But if you have dark sun spots, like my partner, then you’d be amazed at the skin pen in between a chemical peel. For me, I had an issue with old red healed acne spots. They disappeared the very first peel. It’s really incredible witchcraft. Oh – also, if you are considering derma fillers, I can update you. The old issue of lip injections, etc. is that it used collagen. Now, it uses a type of ingredient that already is in our skin and our body removes naturally over the course of six months or so. But here’s the witchcraft – if you don’t like it, there is now an antidote! So they inject the counter to it and it dissolves right then! It’s pretty amazing how far we’ve come. Because of this, I’m considering fillers now. But they do fillers and chemical peels on hands now that swear makes an 80 year old look 20. You can google before and after images online of restalyne hands and be amazed. In the US, it is illegal for a pharmaceutical company to use before and after pictures without indicating how many treatments they have received. With restalyne, it never says because it’s only ONE TREATMENT! AMAZEBALLS!”

 OK…now on to my next one, “Help, my boobs have fallen and they can’t get up!”  Such great “support” from my friends!

BRAS:

Wacoal – “game changer, underwire or not” https://www.wacoal-america.com/all-bras_wacoal-bras-catalog/

Rosa Faia – “very pricey but a game changer. So comfortable” http://www.anita.com/shop/en_global/soft-bra-serie-twin-24ebd5.html

Chantelle - http://www.chantelle.com

Soma Intimates – “enhancing shape bras!” “love soma”

Madewell “comfy t-shirt material bras”

Coobies – “very comfortable and seamless. Sometimes i sleep with them on.” “Very comfortable but not a whole lot of support. But they don’t feel like you’re wearing a torture device”

Sage and Cedar, Whitefish, MT (store)

Target’s Champion line “great lift andshaping. And non underwire.”

Underarmour – “good underwire”

Adore Mr. – “well made and inexpensive”

Third Love

Olga and Warners

Knix Wear - https://www.knixwear.com/collections/evolution-bra

Soma

The Pact – “camisole with built-in bra.”

Tommy Hilfiger

Title Nine/Anita Sports Bra – “wear it all the time for everything. Soft and uplifting, but no under wire. If you are a booby girl, but narrow set in the chest (not too to broad in chest measure but larger in cup size) this may work very well.”

And here’s where people created our own personal consumer report!

14656327_10153757139241266_4563344988189324412_nMATTRESSES

Temper Cloud Supreme Mattresshttp://www.oprah.com/gift/Tempur-Cloud-Supreme-Mattress?editors_pick_id=27470   “I bought the one Oprah recommended a few years ago and it was terrible. I think it actually got pulled from the market it was so bad and we got our money back. It was the Dr. Breus mattress and it was THE WORST! it completely caved in in the middle.”

Tempurpedic Cloud with Supreme Breeze for cooling. “ Got the adjustable frame even though we didn’t think we were interested. Don’t regret a thing!” “Tempurpedic with all the cooling stuff you can get. It feels weird at first but once you get used to it every other bed feels like you’re laying on wadded socks.”

Temperpedic – “best ever $$$$ that’s what we use” “We have one too. Love it. We even got the adjustable frame” “best sleep ever” “We love our tempurpedic mattresses. Best nights sleep even with a back full of titanium!”

Sleep Number - “So worth the investment.” “The way to go. Love mine” “We JUST bought this during a Sleep Number half price sale. It’s too new for me to properly review — I haven’t finished setting up all the interactive functions. (It assesses the quality of your sleep each night via their app!). So far, so good…https://www.sleepnumber.com/…/Innovation-Series-Beds/p/iLE”  “it’s an air mattress with two sides (but you can’t tell it’s an air mattress–it seems totally like a normal mattress). But this way you can have a hard mattress and your partner can have it soft or whatever.” “Even my spinal doctor and the neurosurgeon who put my broken neck said the same.”

Coco-Mat USA -” check out this place for toppers and pillows! I know you asked about mattresses and they probably make them too, but my pillow from there is the best. It was an investment, but worth it.”

Double Seely from Sears – “Box spring, mattress, delivery, removal of ancient set cost less than 600 clams.

I’ve never slept better…not just the bed structure, but how nice not to go into debt for slumbering:

Duxiana

Wyndam – “wyndam that sells beds..hotels…always comfy. I would consider for my next purchase.”

Four Seasons Hotel – “sell complete sets: mattresses, sheets and duvets by Frette or Pratesi. Worth asking them.”

Keetsa

Memory Foam Mattress – Having worked years in natural medicine, with a focus on toxins, I have to say that an organic cotton (3 stack for comfort) futon mattress is the only way I go. My boys often try and steal into my bed, still, because of the comfort. Just beware…you will want to sleep all the time on such support. Our spines are best served when we mimic sleeping on the soft ground. Anything else I sleep on makes me ache, in one way or the other. When we spend a third of our lives sleeping, best to avoid such high toxins so close to our preciousness. Interested to see what you conclude. http://www.sleepjunkie.org/are-memory-foam-mattresses-safe/

Northwest Bedding Legacy 200 – “$1,000 recently on a new mattress….I see it as an investment in my health, and am very happy with my choice.” “ There’s an all natural one made from bamboo. Pricey but we never regretted it!”

Casper

Sterns and Fosterhttp://m.macys.com/shop/mattress/stearns-foster-mattress?id=25946  “I love mine” A firm Stearns and Foster with a 2″ memory foam topper to remove discomfort at pressure point

The Davenport – “delicious”

Wrights sells bed

Tuft & Cotton – $600. It was guaranteed. If after 90 days I think it was – if you don’t like it. Donate it – they will refund your money. Do your homework – there are a lot of brands out there that broke the code on overpriced mattresses. We simply Googled – what is the best mattress/why/traditional vs foam etc. there are lots of options & plans. Treat yourself to sheets too. I bought a 2000 count and felt like a queen.

Starwood properties – Don’t think twice call and get their heavenly bed same as in hotels is amaze

Saatva Mattress - They have a traditional mattress and a memory foam mattress. No showroom, you buy online. Delivery charge includes full installation. We love our memory foam mattress and wouldn’t sleep on anything else now. About 1200 for a king, 3 pieces. Very firm. The edges of the mattress are reinforced so there is no sagging if you frequently sit on the side of the bed. We’ve had ours for about a year and a half and it still feels great, no sagging, and no permanent indentations where we sleep. “I love my Satva mattress. Natural no outgassing and amazing comfort for less than mattress store prices”

Hunter and Co – organic – Savvy Brand can customize for your needs.

Vispring – Was expensive 20 years ago. All organic and natural fibers.. Mine is almost 20 years old and still wonderful. Have a list of hotels where you can test drive. FSelected this mattress because it was incredibly firm with a pillow top built in. Web site lists hotels to trial. Test drive to see if it works for you.

Tuft & Needle – Not quite memory foam – but firm and amazing. www.tuftandneedle.com

Ikea Beds – mostly organic, great varieties and super inexpensive!

Eclipse Mattress –  I love the Eclipse we bought for my mom. It’s a dream. Salesman said it’s organic or nontoxic or something too… which I never investigated just how “eco” it was… but is a nice added perk! We got a “natural seasons” http://www.eclipsemattress.com/…/perfe…/natural-seasons/

Cannot recommend it more. I can’t wait for mine to wear out so I can get one for me!

Wrights Mattress store – We just bought one from Wright’s. They use solely a bed manufacturer in Spokane. Our whole house sleeps on their beds. We just got one that they customized with an organic topper for a very reasonable cost. Message me if you want more info!

General advice on beds:

1.) Buy from a place that allows free returns, such as Mancini’s Sleep Works, because you can’t tell by lying on them in the store. 2) Get a FIRM classic innerspring bed if you have a bad back. 2) Sealy Posturepedic almost always has a model at the top of the Consumer Reports list. 3) Add a thin layer of memory foam if it’s too firm. 4) Yes, pure memory foam is too hot. We have a “hybrid” innerspring Sealy Posturepedic w some foam and I find it comfortable but sometimes too hot in the middle of the night. 5) There is no relationship between price and comfort. 6. Most mattress salesmen are full of it. 7. I really liked the salesman at Macy’s in Terra Linda/San Rafael, he was knowledgeable, informative and realistic. 8. Consumer Reports has excellent mattress ratings to help you reduce the dizzying world of choices. Pay $35 or so and use their online algorithm.

You first have to decide about broad categories: FOAM? INNERSPRING? HYBRID? BLOW UP “SLEEP NUMBER” BEDS

Hope you all enjoyed this list and got some good tips.  Now back to writing about writing, and writers, and Montana, and life…  And if you’d like to be part of my Facebook posse, follow me here!

Now Booking 2017 Haven Writing Retreats in gorgeous Whitefish, Montana!

June 7-11
June 21-25
September 6-10
September 20-24
October 4-8
October 18-22

The field of possibility...

The field of possibility…

 

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Fierce at 50

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Now booking 2017 Haven Writing Retreats!

February 22-26 (full with wait list)
June 7-11
June 21-25
September 6-10
September 20-24
 October 4-8
October 18-22

       To schedule a phone call to learn more about the retreat, go to the Contact Us button here.

I’m taking a break in the Haven Winter Blog series today to reflect on passion, power, age, and to shine a light on a new friend…

Today is the launch of #TheFierce50, a movement dedicated to women 50 and over who are thriving, creating and celebrating where they are in life.  I was selected along with a fierce group of women including Lee WoodruffKathy Kahler and Denise Austin to be among #TheFierce50. We each were paired with a fellow #Fierce50 blogger and given the honor to write about her. I was thrilled to be paired with Katheen Baty, one seriously fierce woman.  After we got off the phone (3 hours!), I wrote this piece.  Click here to read more about The Fierce50 Movement.

I turned fifty last year.  Some people say fifty is the new thirty.  What I know about being fifty, is that I have accumulated enough life experience to know some things, and to learn from them, and to find my true purpose because of them.  Unfortunately, most of the things that have brought me to this confluence of self, had to do with pain.  Is pain really gain?  Is it true that what doesn’t kill you actually makes you stronger?  I would like to think that we’d be stronger from a long walk in the woods, or lunch with a good friend, or floating on our back in the Caribbean.  But while those moments help me to be present, or to process the past and imagine the future…they’re not what has helped me find my way.  It’s the hard stuff that has.  It’s standing in the places where I feel recycled and spat out and spent, and sometimes bashed bloody from hitting walls I somehow haven’t learned don’t have doorways, that have shaken me awake to the basics of self-sustainability.

Is there a cure for this?  Maybe.  Maybe it’s passion.  Maybe it’s knowing what you love and what brings you into true delight and thirst for life…and mining that no matter what’s going on in your life.  For me, that passion has been writing.  It is what holds me together and always has.  I have said many times, “Don’t wait for the rug to get ripped out from underneath you to find your passions.  When I went through re-invention 101, I’m glad that my passions were in a row, even if my ducks weren’t.”  That’s when I wrote my way through a brutal time of my life and my career as a published author took flight, and that’s when I started my Haven Writing Retreats.  At Haven, I teach people to find their voice, their passion, their sustainability through writing, in whatever form they choose—journals, essays, books etc.  But there are other ways.

A woman who knows perhaps more about this than any of us want to, is the remarkable Kathleen Baty who for eight years underwent brutal stalking until she was finally kidnapped at gunpoint.  Did she let it take her down?  No way.  Instead she learned every possible aspect of personal safety to stay alive, worked with Law Enforcement because there were no laws at that time making stalking a crime, and eventually testified at the state and federal level to pass the Anti Stalking Laws.  Talk about turning pain into passion!

But she didn’t stop there.  She started her company, SafetyChick Enterprises, LLC in order to  change the way personal safety and crime prevention was embraced by women. Instead of marketing to fear, the SafetyChick Brand promotes strength, courage and common sense. She wants women to CARE about their safety, not run from it. She wrote two books, “A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do” (Rodale) and “College Safety 101″ (Chronicle Books)  and believes that  “Caring about your personal safety is the GREATEST Gift you can give yourself. IT is NOT about being paranoid.  It’s about being SMART and making SMART personal safety choices.  Personal Safety is Personal.  It’s what makes YOU feel comfortable at the time.  Making the decision to CARE about your personal safety translates into every aspect of your life. It makes you a better mother, friend, coworker, whatever, because you are living with purpose.”

What if, then, as young women and men, we fastened this lesson to our hearts:  Being passionate for our safety first is our bottom line non-negotiable.  Maybe then, pain wouldn’t have to be gain.  And walls would become doors, and pain would become passion and possibility.  And I’d like to think that a little writing along the way helps…

#thefierce50 

 

 

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Create Community– You Don’t Have to Do it Alone!

Montana February Haven Retreat, 2015 "I write in a solitude born out of community." -Terry Tempest Williams

Montana February Haven Retreat, 2015

as seen on Women Writers, Women’s Books

“I write in a solitude born out of community”—Terry Tempest Williams

I am home from leading a five day writing retreat in the woods of Montana where hundreds of people have come in the last three years to dig deeper into their creative self-expression on the page. That is my invitation to them. That is my only promise: we will dig deeply and I will keep it a loving, safe, and nurturing community. My call: Find your voice. Set it free. You do not have to be a writer to come to a Haven Retreat. Only a seeker. Come.

Look into these faces, these eyes, these smiles. These were strangers on a Wednesday, who journeyed to Montana from hundreds…thousands of miles in every direction.

This photograph was taken on Saturday night, three days later. This is what can happen when people gather to create in community, held safely by someone who knows what it is to use writing as a practice, a prayer, a meditation, a way of life, and sometimes a way to life.

I will keep doing this work until I answer the question I have asked my entire adult life: Do I have to do this alone? Is there anyone out there who cares? Is there anyone out there who can help me?

Be careful if you want to go on a writing retreat. I designed the retreat that I would want to go on, so Haven offers no “easy” way to get published, no bullet points to follow for success, no slick method to find your voice, no guru to worship. No gift shop, no 5-step DVD.

LMWritingHaven

Haven offers community, support, inspiration, and a place to take yourself apart a bit and weave yourself back together, new…through heart language. It is the most important work, outside of what I have birthed in my children and my own written stories, that I have ever done.

I didn’t know about writing retreats when I claimed my life as a writer in 1988, fresh out of college. I thought I had to do it alone. I didn’t trust community to understand my yearning, my craving, to make sense of this beautiful and heartbreaking thing called life. I didn’t trust community to give me permission to look into the dark corners and shine a light on an otherwise dim place.

My writing was for me. Alone. And I couldn’t understand why the product wasn’t landing in people’s hearts. I longed to be published and to every sinking sun I begged: Please let me be published to wide acclaim.

And then one day, after years of struggle, writing book after book, story after story, essay after essay, and always a journal nearby, I asked myself why. Why? Why this pain from something I was devoting my life to? At that time, I had learned my craft well enough to land an excellent New York agent who had gained the attention of some major publishing houses. There was hope that my words would land in readers’ laps to a significant degree. But things kept breaking down in the end, and I was bereft.

So I looked into a blank page, as was my practice, my most safe and dangerous place, and asked m

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yself: Why do I write? This is what came out:I write to shine a light on a dim or otherwise pitch black corner to provide relief for myself and others. It floored me. Relief? Service? Not just Sense? That changed everything.

If I was writing to help, I needed a new perspective. And that perspective felt spacious. Expansive. Full of possibility. I had already cultivated a hunger for my seeking spirit on the page. In-so-doing, maybe it was possible to help others do the same just by relating with my raw real journey. And THAT’S when I got published. Well-published.

New York Times best-selling author published. Suddenly I was on major media, driving around in limos, going to the book signings of my dreams. It was powerful, but nothing in comparison to the act of creating. And I got it: What we must long for…is our voice. Our craft. Our way of seeing…and what our stories want to say. It was the best news I could imagine because we can control that! I couldn’t wait to get back home and back to my writing.

The poet Rilke says, “Go to the limits of your longing.” That longing, for me, is in the creation, not the product. It’s in the process. The work. We can control the work. That’s it. Success and failure are myths. That is the greatest relief I’ve known and why it occurred to me one day to lead writing retreats. If I am an authority on anything, it’s how to do the work. How to cultivate your own unique voice and become hungry for it.

To show up for it every day and find out what it has to say. We are so caught up in the supposed-to-be and the should and the perfection of it all that we forget what this writing thing is all about: it’s in the ability to give ourselves permission to put our hearts in our hands. To see where we are in our own way, and truly feel our flow. To go where it’s natural, not forced. To have it be easy. How about that? Easy? Breathe into the groundlessness of that and live there for a moment. Feels good, doesn’t it.

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A woman on my last retreat took that breath one morning, sun streaming in through the Montana winter skies, and said it so perfectly: “There is a way to use my head if I let it follow my heart.” She looked around the room and smiled at each of us. Born out of community, yes. And held by sacred solitude.

Please, if you hunger for your voice, if you need permission to speak it, if you value the transformational tool that is the written word, consider giving yourself the unstoppable experience of writing in community.

The next Haven Retreat is at the incredible Ranch at Rock Creek

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April 29th-May 3rd

For more info, email:  Laura@lauramunsonauthor.com


 

 

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I’d love to speak in your neck of the woods!

Sooo…some shameless self-promotion:  if your business, school, social group, club, library etc. is looking for a speaker who is all about empowerment…pick me!  Here’s the scoop:   http://www.apbspeakers.com/speaker/laura-munson

LAURA MUNSON

A writer for over 20 years, Laura Munson is the author of theNew York Times and international best-selling memoir, This Is Not the Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness. Passionate about “finding the intersection of heart and mind and craft on the page,” Munson shares a story that explores marital crisis and imparts a message of empowerment, the importance of living in the present, and the necessity of claiming responsibility for one’s own happiness – no matter what is going on in life.

It all began when Munson penned an essay, “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear,” for the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times in 2009. Stunned by the firestorm reaction she received, Munson emerged as the face behind an essay that ignited dinner talk, office chat, and book groups around the globe. A short version of a memoir she had written during a rough time in her marriage, the essay touched people with its powerful honesty. And they wanted more. After having written for two decades, having completed 14 novels, and having endured countless rejections, Munson had a book deal within 48 hours.  Her memoir has been published in nine countries.

Munson’s work has appeared in the New York Times ”Modern Love” column, the New York Times Magazine ”Lives” column, O. MagazineWoman’s DayRedbook, Good Housekeeping, More magazine, Shambhala Sun, The Sun, and Big Sky Journal, as well as on HuffingtonPost.com and through many other media outlets. She has been on two national book tours with appearances on Good Morning America, The Early Show, London’s This Morning, Australia’s Sunrise, various NPR stations, and many other television and radio shows, including Dr. Christiane Northrup’s Hay House radio program.

TOPICS

How to Turn Crisis Into Personal Freedom

How to Get What You Want by Getting Out of Your Own Way

The Power of Story in Times of Crisis

Please call 800.225.4575 or contact The American Program Bureau for more information on this speaker’s speech topics.

REQUEST MORE INFO

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 Laura Munson
Questions about booking?
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More Magazine’s FANTASTIC Reinvention Convention

I’m going to be using adjectives that I try not to over use:  Fantastic, amazing, spectacular, inspiring, fabulous.  I try to save them for when it really counts.  This is one of those times.  Simply put, MORE MAGAZINE’S REINVENTION CONVENTION was one of the most fantastic, amazing, spectacular, inspiring, fabulous events I’ve experienced.  DON’T MISS THE NEXT ONE. Check out the speakers.  All I can say is wow.  Thank you, More, for trusting me to be one of your messengers.  And now a word from the fantastic, amazing, spectacular, inspiring, fabulous Lee Woodruff…  (who also happens to be my friend and one of my book’s biggest champions.)

You gotta love an MC who talks about her dirty underwear!  Literally.  Being on the road as a travelling author, clean underwear is not just a luxury, but a small miracle. Her book PERFECTLY IMPERFECT is a MUST READ! 

 Lee Woodruff at the Reinvention Convention, posted with vodpod

In LA Live-- next to the American Idol finals...tempting...Ever have a day that feels like magic?  Where everybody’s smiling and shaking hands and being kind to each other and thrilled to be exactly where they are?  And there are supermodels and movie stars and TV celebrities and fabulously successful women all around you just being themselves– being normal (whatever that means)– being someone you could sit with in your pj’s and share a pizza and your current crush and maybe have a thumb war…only you’re doing it all grown up in great clothes and an hour of hair and make-up?  Well, I got to have a day like that a few weeks ago and I am still under its spell. Thank you MORE MAGAZINE for putting together such an INSPIRING day. We use the word inspiring a lot in our current society. You could have written the definition. And thank you for inviting me to speak. And for making it barely impossible for me to feel good after applying my own make-up and doing my own hair.

The fabulous Rita Wilson was in the front row-- what an honor! More Magazine’s executive editor, the intuitive and insightful Judy Coyne moderates while Mel Robbins (author, radio celebrity, and life coach), and I cover the topic Getting What You Want by Getting Out of Your Own Way. The fabulous Rita Wilson was in the front row, center. What an honor! (More on Rita in my next blog post.)

Judy Coyne moderates!

I felt like I was living Katie Perry’s lyrics, baby you’re a firework sharing the stage with Mel Robbins. I thought I had a lot of energy! Her book STOP SAYING YOU’RE FINE will change the way you think and relate with the world. 


Remind me not to pose with a super model again.

Christy Turlington Burns is not only beautiful on the outside, but inside too. She has learned the hard way that beauty cannot guard you against health issues, and has taken her birth hemorrhage experience to the screen in her directorial debut: NO WOMAN NO CRY. I was in tears. We think about the babies, but who thinks about the mothers? 

 Sold out book signing! Thanks to all of you who braved that line!

My friend Lee Woodruff behind the scenes.  This is what a Green Room looks like, by the way. They’re never green.
 
For more information on this spectacular convention: 
Stacey Gualandi captures the spirit of the day in her wonderful article for The Woman’s Eye
Here’s a link to our radio interview. Look under News, Radio. It’s the last link.

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Hip Boutique Now Online!


As much as I love our local boutiques here in our small Montana town and support them whenever I can…tis true that I also rely on the internet for shopping.  Jonathan Franzen says that no good novel is currently being written on a computer attached to the internet and he’s right.  I’ll be in the thick of a scene in my current novel in progress, and suddenly I’m fact checking online, and suddenly I’m buying boots.  I recently had to unplug my main computer for just this reason.  Too many temptations.  The fab women’s boutique CHILL is one of them.  I learned about it via a mutual friend on Facebook, but to my dismay, it was where so many of the fab boutiques are– thousands of miles east.  I am thrilled that CHILL has decided to start a website and to share their great products with all of us who live far away from their store front.  And I’m thrilled to welcome them as a new advertiser at THESE HERE HILLS.

For those of you entrepreneurs out there who want to start a business, but need a little nudge in the way of inspiration, here is their story:

By Wendy Yellin Hill

My sister-in-law, Jayme Yellin, and I opened “chill” on April 1, 2008.  We envisioned a hip boutique in the suburbs featuring out-of-the-ordinary merchandise at a great price.  Neither of us had any experience in retail.  In fact, we were both attorneys prior to having children.  But we felt that our town lacked, and needed, a retail store that embraced an urban vibe, and carried the latest trends from New York and beyond. In the beginning our lack of experience was actually a blessing, as we were not constrained by what we were “supposed” to do. We trusted our instincts and taste, and went with our gut feelings: if we liked it, we bought it for the store. If we didn’t, we passed.  To this day, we continue with that very personal vision.  Our store is a reflection of who we are, and how we like to dress, decorate, and live.  The jewelry in our store ranges from bracelets and necklaces that were purchased on a recent trip to Istanbul, to trendy pieces from our New York City vendors, to handmade items from a local jewelry designer who is just starting out. We carry clothing from Billabong, the surf company; the Malibu and Paris-based I Can 2; cotton tops from Nusantara; as well as other local and LA-based companies. Our housewares are from Belgium, Turkey, Bali and Germany.  We carry toys and children’s accessories from the UK, and scarves from Thailand.  We also strive to purchase products that have been made in America, or are free trade. Our customers range in age from 5 to 75 as there is something for everyone at chill.  We have built up a loyal clientele; people who shop with us tell us how much they enjoy the experience, and love the fact that every time they come in, there is something new to see and buy.  They also love that we have made it a point to sell beautiful items at reasonable prices.  And while we are a tiny 300 square foot store, we are very big on customer service and satisfaction, and make everyone who comes through our door feel welcomed, cared for, and appreciated.  We are the general store for hip people. And we are thrilled to be coming to the internet.

Wendy Hill
co-owner
chill
westwood, ma

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The Hefner Effect

In the third of a five-part series on love and relationships, Tom Matlack and author Laura Munson debate the question: Why do young women and older men get along so well?

MUNSON: I was raised by an “old man.” My father was 50 and gray when I was born. He used words like “davenport,” “filling station,” and “ice box.” His mother was born in the 1800s and she lived in a nursing home in her last years, where we visited her every night. My father would pass by the rooms and look in and say, “That man used to be the CEO of Sears and Roebuck. It’s hell to get old.” But I noticed that those old men loved me. In fact, as my father aged, his friends would occupy my dance card, as it were, at a multi-generational gathering. And I obliged. I wasn’t scared of their liver spots, canes, and quivering voices. I knew that it was hell to get old, and I was happy to walk arm-in-arm with them through the door, or to get them a plate of food so they wouldn’t have to get up off the “davenport.”

And let’s be honest—I knew that I was “giving an old guy a thrill.” I’d heard it in those exact words from plenty of them. They thanked me for things boys my age often missed: simple things like my smile, my thin ankles—and they meant it. As an adult, I wonder why that is. Is it that men never outgrow their need to feel important to a woman, and their own wives and contemporary lady friends have long soured on stoking their egos? Maybe so.

But why would a young girl oblige? What’s in it for her? I think it’s because I knew there was no threat of sex. No threat for a jealous episode with a girlfriend. I knew I didn’t have to prove myself. They liked my ankles and my smile and that was enough. It was a win-win. I watched that win-win all the way to my father’s deathbed, where he flirted with the nurses. I forgave him for it and so did they. Maybe it’s one of life’s secret agreements.

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MATLACK: I concede that true love is ageless, and that an outsider can never know what happens behind closed doors in a marriage. I would never comment on the success or failure of any particular couple, but the societal phenomenon of old guys and young women is worth talking about.

I sometimes think that marriage is like a boxing match. When the sparring partners are well matched, it goes on and on, with blood and guts on the canvas and beauty emerging from the violence of the engagement. When older men marry younger women, the partners have given up on the idea of going head-to-head with their peer in age and in power. The male and female roles are exaggerated into some kind of daddy-daughter dynamic that is somehow more comfortable than trying to slug it out with someone your own age.

When they give in to the Woody Allen “the-heart-wants-what-the-heart-wants” gravitational pull, both parties make a concession.

A younger woman embodies vitality and beauty—and the guy’s power, defined in its rawest form, becomes the central aphrodisiac. Everyone knows where they stand.

I can’t help but be saddened when I see this pattern over and over again among my friends and in the newspapers, because at bottom it points to our collective obsession with superficialities. We worship material wealth and youth. And boobs.

Money and power or teenage-model good looks don’t make anyone happy in the long term—contrary to the consistent message of popular culture.

At the extreme, both the old man and the young woman are stooping to a commercial transaction—prostituting themselves. She’s selling youth, beauty, and sex, and he’s buying it. Whether you’re sleeping with a guy for $100 or $100 million, it’s all the same. Both sides of the trade miss out on something more genuine than sex, and the kids miss out on having a dad—since most of these guys will be in retirement homes (or dead) by the time their children make it to college.

But maybe I am just being a prude. New research shows that this whole thing is about the survival of the race. The practice of older men chasing younger women may contribute to human longevity and the survival of the species.

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MUNSON: I find it interesting that when I read the question, I didn’t read the phrase “get along so well” as having to do with sex or marriage. I thought about it in terms of dynamic. I don’t have any friends who have fit into that societal stereotype, wherein the old man marries the young hot girl with the “boobs.” I think of that scenario as a myth some people might give in to, and I’m not that interested in it. I think we would do better as a society to start shifting away from these myths. I don’t even believe in the male “midlife crisis.” But I do believe that it’s sold to men, from the time they’re kids, that the prize is youth in women and wealth in men. And I do believe in the power of that lie. Let’s tell ourselves a different story, shall we?

Matlack:  Natasha Vargas-Cooper writes in her recent Atlantic article “Hard Core”:  “One of the most punishing realities women face when they reach sexual maturity is that their maturity is (at least to many men) unsexy.”

Yes, I think old men asking young women to dance is one thing– it’s cute and harmless– but that isn’t what’s really going on most of the time.  There is a sexual component.  There are countless old guys married to young women, and many more older men masturbating to images of young women on the web.  I don’t pretend to completely understand it, but I viscerally believe it is a sell out to true love and goodness on both sides.

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Read others in this series: “Great Sex or Fighting Fair?“ and “Looks and Longterm Fidelity.”

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Tom Matlack is the founder of the Good Men Project and one amazingly inspiring guy.  Check out what he has created!

♦◊♦

—Photo by Gizmo2469/photobucket

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Modern Love Strikes Again! Check out Kelly Valen!

As many of you know, the Modern Love column launched my career.  I am weekly inspired by it, and I want to share with you my new writer friend, sister in words, and high-road kind of a gal, Kelly Valen. 
You will be hearing a lot about her, if my instincts are right.  She is holding up a mirror to human behavior, asking the question: why can women be so brutal to one another.  Her book grew out of a Modern Love essay published a few years ago

that really hit a nerve.

Some of you may recall this piece I posted a few months ago about receiving an unexpected apology, years later, from a college friend. I think that we can hold the space for those apologies, without holding on with entitlement or bitterness. There is much freedom in that!

Check out Kelly Valen’s new book, The Twisted Sisterhood (Random House, Oct. 26). It’s getting great buzz and is sure to change the way girls and women think about their friendships. Get the scoop at www.kellyvalen.com and pre-order NOW through any online retailer.

Kelly Valen’s official site at www.kellyvalen.com

A smart, savvy, breakthrough look at the compelling, complex bonds that divide — and can ultimately unite — women of all ages and every culture.”
—Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of New York Times bestselling memoir Crazy Love, editor of Mommy Wars, and former Washington Post columnist
“If you think you are alone in nursing a clique-inspired emotional wound, are wary of certain types of women, or are worried about your own daughter’s peer-group, you need to read this validating and important book. Kelly Valen’s research shows that many of us have been hurt deeply by a girlfriend and we often carry the lingering pain throughout our lives. In sharing the poignant voices of women from her study, Valen shows us that we are certainly not alone and points a way toward civility, kindness and true sisterhood.”
—Rosalind Wiseman, internationally known educator and author of Queen Bees and Wannabees.
“Kelly Valen has written a smart, sweeping book about the ways women relate and given us all something to think about.”
—Kelly Corrigan, bestselling author of The Middle Place and Lift
“This is a brave and deep book. Kelly Valen shares her own painful experience of exclusion and humiliation at the hands of “friends,” as well as the details of incidents she’s gathered in her research – the looks, gestures, gossip, and confrontations – that have wounded other hearts. Yet she shows us that it is the caring side of sisterhood that gives our relationships the power to hurt. She rightfully suggests that we understand and monitor our own behavior and potential to wound as much as we scrutinize how we’re treated.”
— Cheryl Dellasega, PhD, author of Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, and other books for girls and women; Founder, Club and Camp Ophelia

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