The Breaking Point: An invitiation to share your stories


When you record your pain on the page and people read it…something happens. You tap into something that is bigger than your pain. Bigger than pain itself. You are in total truth and by being there…you actually begin a conversation with healing. You invite it to happen. You invite other people to heal by being totally unattached to their healing. You are simply telling your story and your story has power. Your truth has power. Healing power.

I was once at a funeral. A boy had died suddenly in our community, and we were all rocked by it. Most of us had never dealt with death. Maybe a grandfather. But not a peer. Not someone that everybody adored, who was right in the middle of his happy childhood. A family member got up to speak and just held his breath until he coughed tears. The minister went to him, put his hands on his shoulders, and said, “Thank you. You give us all permission.” The whole congregation wept then. I looked around at all those faces of my youth: teachers, schoolmates, store owners, mothers, fathers…everybody was weeping. We needed to weep. And we needed to weep together.

At the end of winter, I invite us to weep a little here. It will be a gathering of scenes from our most broken moments. What they felt like, smelled like, tasted like, looked like from the inside out. 400-600 words. You can include your name and any website link info if you want. Or you can be anonymous. Your truth might be another person’s relief, knowing that we are in this beautiful and heartbreaking life together. Your broken open moment might be another person’s permission to weep. And heal.

Send your stories to Laura@lauramunsonauthor.com and I’ll post according to your request to be named or not. This invitation will last until the first day of Spring. Aptly.
Yrs.
Laura

15 Comments

Filed under A Place For Writers To Share, My Posts

15 Responses to The Breaking Point: An invitiation to share your stories

  1. Abby

    Thank you Laura for this opportunity, I have needed to write more about my broken open moment for a while now.

  2. Donald J Stifler

    Laura, This something I wrote following the end of a 25 year marrage when my spouse had a affair. This helped me cope with it. Not sure if it is what you want, but here goes.

    Healing in Relationships
    By Don Stifler

    All of a sudden we find ourselves in a broken relationship. It could be broken for any number of reasons. We may have caused it or we could be just the recipients of someone else’s issues.

    Regardless of who initiated this failure, we experience many feelings such as:

    Anger
    Hurt
    Betrayal
    Guilt
    Loss of Self Esteem
    A need for revenge
    And too many more to list.

    Forgiveness is confusing to many of us. What makes it confusing is we think that we need to condone the actions of others in order to forgive. Nothing is further from the truth. Forgiveness rarely addresses condoning the transgression. In fact the person or persons we may be forgiving rarely understand our ability to forgive. Forgiveness is for the forgiver. We cannot really forgive another unless we can forgive ourselves.

    Forgiving ourselves can be difficult if we feel we are the victim and have done nothing wrong.

    Christ says “Forgive your Neighbor as you Forgive Yourself” Boy; this is hard if you feel you have been wronged.

    Think about this, “Life is a Participation Sport” It takes two to dance, there must be two to separate. Rarely can you slice a piece of bread so thin that there are not two sides to it.

    Looking within can be a good place to start our recovery. Whether we feel we had a part in the failure of the relationship or not we must start the process of for giving ourselves. It all starts here with us. It does not involve the other party. We must address what we control and nothing else

    Every minute of every day God is there to love us and forgive, even if we really blew it. Should we do any less? In our humanity we make errors. Even if on purpose, we are allowed to ask for forgiveness. Therefore, this becomes the first KEY to Healing in Relationships.

    The ability to forgive ourselves. It is not an option, it is a must. Christ did not say 7 times, He said 7 times 70. It becomes a time to remove our ego and ask for forgiveness of our own deeds known or unknown. A short prayer will start the process.

    “Dear Lord, I ask your forgiveness for all that is known and unknown about my situation. Help to open my eyes and my heart to myself and to your love and forgiveness. Help me to accept responsibility for whatever actions or lack thereof that could have cause this riff and give me the strength to move forward in a more compassionate way with integrity and purpose and forgiveness of myself to allow me to offer forgiveness to others.
    . Amen”

    Joseph Girzone, the author, of the book “Joshua” and “Never Alone” described a process to help with forgiving.

    “If you can put yourself in the position of the one who is hurting you and realize the anguish they are going thru in their life at that moment, you can allow Anger to be replaced by Compassion, and with compassion can come forgiveness.

    As stated above, when we forgive the person it does not mean we must condone their actions; it just means we forgive for forgiveness sake alone. Forgiveness is really a personal act to allow us to be free. When we forgive we do it for our reasons not the other persons. Often times they do not even understand our act of forgiveness and sometimes if they do it blows there mind.

    My brother mentioned this when I was going through a divorce. He said Don do you want to be free. I said yes and he said the only way to be free is to forgive my spouse and her lover, my best friend. I chewed on this and worked through the forgiveness process. I was hurt, angry, felt betrayed. At that point it was not about me and all about them. But I wanted to be free and move on. So I sent each a letter stating my wish to forgive them and in fact I was forgiving them. I wasn’t condoning what had happened but I was forgiving them for what happened and at the same time was forgiving myself for any participation I had in creating this situation. Of course at the time, I felt blameless, but it sounded good. So in reality I had not done the whole job, because I held myself outside the situation.

    This played on my mind. As I pondered this forgiveness thing I came to face my responsibility as a party to this situation, simply by not being stronger in developing my own relationship with my spouse. Once I realized this, I could truly forgive. My brother was right it blew their minds but I did not cause that or wish that.

    I realized that nice people could make mistakes. These had nothing to do with me personally. They felt bad and guilty. I learned the value of compassion rather than anger. I did not have to take this as a personal attack on me. In effect I did not walk in their shoes.

    I learned we do not control another soul. That the only way we have something is to be able to let it go. We can only be a magnet that attracts not one that hold and smothers.

    By opening up to the prospect of forgiveness and compassion in any situation allows one to be very free. People want to be around me because I respect their freedom and space.

    This process was not without pain, sorrow, loss, but it was with tremendous growth and allows me to be the person I am supposed to be. Healed, loving and happy. I am a better person today. I learn from life and grow. The world of would of, could of or should of does not exist in my life. This is the moment. Learn from the past don’t live in the past.

    Finally, my relationship with a loving god has made this all possible. I would not pretend to be able to do this alone

    DJS

    • Gianna

      I cried reading every word that you wrote! You describe my thoughts, my very inner soul. You explain the story of my feelings in every detail! Everything that you did, I did it too. After 25 years of marriage, my husband left me. Same story, the difference was he cheated with an unkwoun woman. It was hard, but I did exactly as you did; every bit of it. I’m still in my divorce process, but right now I feel stronger and more at peace, because I forgave! Forgiving and God are the two key elements for that healing. I took responsibility for my actions and the hardest part was to forgive myself, because a lot of guilt, regret and blaming descend upon me. Thanks for sharing your story, it really help to know how someone dealt with his situation, when it’s not easy to share! God bless you!

  3. Robin Dake

    Laura – I turned to writing out of desperation as my marriage was falling apart. Putting those words to paper allowed the silent screams to see the light of day and eased something deep within. At the end of that year, I had 10,000 words and was at the beginning of a new life.
    This Christmas, my gift to myself was to publish that book of essays to Kindle, called “Essays on the End of A Marriage.” I hope anyone who has experience loss can read it and somehow, ease something deep within. You are right; that’s what writing is for.

    Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/Essays-End-Marriage-ebook/dp/B006PTC8JG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330386136&sr=8-1

    Thank you.
    — Robin

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  9. Star Roberts

    Lara,

    The following is one little essay from a work-in-progress memoir about growing up broke, but not broken in the pacific northwest…

    thanks for the opportunity to share,
    Star

    Around the Bend

    The screen door slapped against it’s old wooden frame, sending flakes of white paint to the floor as we hurried out. It was a beautiful day for a walk. One of those shimmering late August afternoons in southern Oregon farm country. The sun was lowering in the sky and the heat of the day was down. A logging truck whizzed down the highway with its last run and a slight breeze carried the scent of recently cut alfalfa.
    As we made our way down the gravel driveway onto the path that separated the ditch from the road, and got farther from our tired house, from him, our hearts settled back in our chests. Without talking we walked single file, Mom leading, down the open valley, away from the scattering of houses. A neighbor’s peacock cried off in the distance.
    We headed south toward the bend in the road and from there took a hard-packed sheep trail through stands of scrub oak up into the hills. As we walked, grasshoppers shot in front of us making zipping sounds as they startled in the tall grass. Our pace slowed, working our way up the ridge and we stopped from time to time to catch our breath. I could see sheep off in the distance and at age twelve, I still had the urge to chase them, like I had so many other times, but I stayed close to Mom and my sisters, Sally and Mona. The further we got from home, the easier it was to forget why we were walking and enjoy the soft tawny beauty of the dried hills rolling up and away, calling us to follow.
    We walked for a long time until our stomachs were growling and our feet were sore. Canvas sneakers with toes poking through and cheap rubber thongs from Woolworth’s are not made for covering much ground. On a good day dinner might have been on the table and it wasn’t hard to imagine a plate full of fried potatoes and venison being washed down by a big glass of milk from our cow, Tilly. Girl whining and theatrics seeped into what little conversation there was and after a bit Mom said “Well, I guess we’ve been gone long enough.” Long enough I thought, for him to pass out.
    As we worked our way back down the ridge on the trail that lead toward home a frightening but familiar smell seeped into our noses – something was burning. Our eyes were drawn towards the bend we had came around earlier and the column of smoke rising up behind it into the clear blue sky. We looked at each other and all registered the same thought at once, then broke into a run. As my feet hit the trail towards home, my insides screamed, No, No, No… But I knew. We Knew. It was our house. On fire. Again.

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