Emotions Are Our Choice!

A year after my book release, I am more and more clear just what my book’s message is and what people appreciate about it.  I wrote an essay for the Divorce section of the Huffington Post today that I think really nails it.  Pass it on if the spirit moves you.  yrs. Laura

Here’s the link!


Filed under "Those Aren't Fighting Words, Dear", A Place For Writers To Share, Huffington Post Blog Pieces, My book: This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness, My Posts

16 Responses to Emotions Are Our Choice!

  1. Susan Morgan

    Laura, it seems to me your writing on this topic is getting more and more powerful. I loved the first essay in NYT, loved the book, but this piece just goes straight to the heart of the dilemma and immediately peels it back to let the light in. Whew. Good stuff. Thanks for writing it. And thanks in advance for the next one!

  2. lauramunson

    I’m so glad you think so, Susan. After a year of talking about this and listening to discussion, I have really learned what the take away is for people and I’ve really learned how to get to the heart of the matter in a way that hopefully is illuminating for people and not just my personal musings. I ain’t no therapist, but I do have a strong handle on this practice of getting aware of your inner critic, and learning where the real power and freedom lies. Thanks for reading! yrs. Laura

  3. Kathy

    Not only nails it but drives it home!!! When I share your book with someone I tell them “It is not solely a story about a relationship crisis or breakup, but rather, a book about choice. Choosing to surrender what is beyond your control and focus on what you can. It is a book about living into yourself.”
    Personally I have been working through my own crisis for the past few years. I have made so very much progress. . Your book had found me at the absolute perfect time during the process. The message was so very loud and so very clear. It was for me one of those “Ahhaaa” moments that Oprah speaks about. I now live in a world of illumination rather than despair.
    I will be forever grateful to you for sharing your story….

    • lauramunson

      Kathy, I’m so glad you understand how powerful it is to become aware of our emotions and how we choose them. It’s a constant practice. Thanks for the reminder. yrs. Laura

      • Kathy

        Laura, it has taken me a while to realize this fact.Emotions are our choice. Recently a thought crossed my mind. If I was to add up all of the minutes, hours, days, weeks that I spent harboring anger, resentment and despair, cumulatively, how many YEARS of my life have I spent in this unproductive and destructive space? Honestly, what an eye opener this was. All of this time that I can never ever get back. This was a huge revelation and a tremendous step in my personal growth process. Now I choose to acknowledge the times that I have these type of feelings, understand the reason why…………and release them and continue to move forward. As always, Kathy

  4. Laura, as I go through my own similar situation I find that much to my surprise I do have more power over my happiness than I thought. Even with the rejection and the urges to just fight it out with him I have found moments of complete joy. I realized one thing that would help me stay focused was a project, much the way you wrote your book, so I’ve begun a private blog sharing my struggles and a daily project photographing all the mundane yet precious items that make up our home. I would love to share it with you. Do you have a public email address where I could send you an invitation to view it?

    I picked up your book at our library and as I read it I am letting out “Oh, My Gosh’s” as my husband has said many of the same things or acted in similar ways. It must be the way of men going through midlife struggles.

    • lauramunson

      Hi, Gina. Thanks for letting me know. I love your idea and practice of photographing the mundane. The mundane is sacred in ways we don’t realize. Please do send me the link. I’d love to share in your good work. yrs. Laura laura@lauramunsonauthor.com

  5. Caroline

    It is unimaginal that so many simple words could hold such signifcant meaning.Being struck off guard so to speak and landing at the most vulnerable spot in my life has left me distraught, weak and functionless at times with bouts of panic and fear that dont even represent who I am as a person. It scared me. To think emotionally I do have a choice and to take care of myself and surrender the future of my marriage brought me such peace….instantly. I will hold the “space” and focus on me and that it will somehow be okay either way. How do I thank you for that? Im off to buy the book and figure out how to love myself again. I am enough!!

    • lauramunson

      Caroline, thanks for finding me. I’m so glad you are in a place to receive this universal truth. You ARE enough. I hope my book helps you. Sometimes pain is our greatest guide. yrs. Laura

  6. Hi Laura.
    I would love you to read my book, “The Lottery Code.”
    It is a divine inspiration which I am sharing freely with the world.
    If you doubt that God speaks to us, now you can read my book and
    judge for yourself.

  7. dianne h

    hi laura just finished your book for the second time. i have recently made the decision to end my marriage of 26 years. my husband has gone through the whole job problems and we have together chased his perfect job for the past 10 years. he has refused to seek counselling and i have finally decided that i can no longer chase his happiness i must look after mine and my children. to not allow my happiness be controlled by things which i cannot control. I have like other readers started writing down my own thoughts and it is a very cathartic experience, i have also been surprised how easy it is to write. somehow easier to express things on paper as we don’t have the filters we apply to our conversations. thanks so much for your book. it has helped me see a way forward and to stop blaming anyone for my past problems just accept and move forward.
    thanks again and good luck in your future

    • lauramunson

      Dianne, good for you for seeing that there’s no real pay off in the blame zone. You are a living example of what it is to be responsible for what you can control and move on. I hope this summer brings some beautiful moments wherein you can recognize how brave you are and be kind to yourself. yrs. Laura

  8. maria

    Laura, you are my hero. My husband said the same thing to me a few weeks ago. I am following your lead. I am not sure if my outcome will be the same as yours, but I can tell you, I feel empowered. I am responsible for my own happiness and that of my children. They will be ok because I will be ok. Your book is my bible. I made notes, I highlighted..I can’t wait to reread it. As a teenager, Judy Blume was my hero. She got me…As an adult, you have taken over the reins from Ms. Blume..Thank you

    • lauramunson

      Maria– WOW! Thank you! I’m so glad my book found you. And Judy Blume, no less. That is a high compliment. It’s great when people truly understand the message of my book and you do. It’s all about empowerment and letting go of outcome. That’s where the freedom lies and that is my wish for you, no matter what happens to your marriage– freedom. My very best to you from Montana. yrs. Laura

  9. Pamela Jean

    Your column reinforces my recent experiences with my husband of 14 years; we have been estranged for some time. We have (of course) both been at fault, however at the root of our problems is the manner in which he prioritizes his emotions above actions and behavior. What he is chasing is not happiness, it is misery, and by lying, infidelity, and disrespectful and negligent treatment of me he is ensuring that misery will continue. He will not agree to counselling, because of his fear of being held accountable for his actions. But it is entirely under his control to behave differently, and it is his choice to continue behaviors which perpetuate his unhappiness. As it is entirely under my control to behave differently and choose a happier path for my children and me. The idea of a summer of fun is a great one, and I’ll remember to reinforce to our children that their father has decided to by unhappy, that we do not have to make that same choice, and that what he chooses is not our fault or responsibility to fix. We can feel sad for him, but we have no obligation to share in his misery.

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