Modern Love Strikes Again! Check out Kelly Valen!

As many of you know, the Modern Love column launched my career.  I am weekly inspired by it, and I want to share with you my new writer friend, sister in words, and high-road kind of a gal, Kelly Valen. 
You will be hearing a lot about her, if my instincts are right.  She is holding up a mirror to human behavior, asking the question: why can women be so brutal to one another.  Her book grew out of a Modern Love essay published a few years ago

that really hit a nerve.

Some of you may recall this piece I posted a few months ago about receiving an unexpected apology, years later, from a college friend. I think that we can hold the space for those apologies, without holding on with entitlement or bitterness. There is much freedom in that!

Check out Kelly Valen’s new book, The Twisted Sisterhood (Random House, Oct. 26). It’s getting great buzz and is sure to change the way girls and women think about their friendships. Get the scoop at and pre-order NOW through any online retailer.

Kelly Valen’s official site at

A smart, savvy, breakthrough look at the compelling, complex bonds that divide — and can ultimately unite — women of all ages and every culture.”
—Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of New York Times bestselling memoir Crazy Love, editor of Mommy Wars, and former Washington Post columnist
“If you think you are alone in nursing a clique-inspired emotional wound, are wary of certain types of women, or are worried about your own daughter’s peer-group, you need to read this validating and important book. Kelly Valen’s research shows that many of us have been hurt deeply by a girlfriend and we often carry the lingering pain throughout our lives. In sharing the poignant voices of women from her study, Valen shows us that we are certainly not alone and points a way toward civility, kindness and true sisterhood.”
—Rosalind Wiseman, internationally known educator and author of Queen Bees and Wannabees.
“Kelly Valen has written a smart, sweeping book about the ways women relate and given us all something to think about.”
—Kelly Corrigan, bestselling author of The Middle Place and Lift
“This is a brave and deep book. Kelly Valen shares her own painful experience of exclusion and humiliation at the hands of “friends,” as well as the details of incidents she’s gathered in her research – the looks, gestures, gossip, and confrontations – that have wounded other hearts. Yet she shows us that it is the caring side of sisterhood that gives our relationships the power to hurt. She rightfully suggests that we understand and monitor our own behavior and potential to wound as much as we scrutinize how we’re treated.”
— Cheryl Dellasega, PhD, author of Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, and other books for girls and women; Founder, Club and Camp Ophelia


Filed under "Those Aren't Fighting Words, Dear", A Place For Writers To Share, My Posts

4 Responses to Modern Love Strikes Again! Check out Kelly Valen!

  1. Sounds intriguing, thanks for sharing, Laura. Back in the dark ages, I went to Stephens College (in central MO; only women) and this topic came up more than once … what is sisterhood, does it matter, what is its potential, or what are the limitations? So Kelly’s book will likely hit a nerve out there, and I wish her the best. — Daisy @ SunnyRoomStudio

  2. Congratulations to Kelly! The book looks really interesting. I swear I think I read that essay when it was first published. I may have said (unfortunately) something like This is why I don’t even bother having female friends. It’s too much work.

    I realize now how short-sighted that attitude is.

  3. Thanks again for the shout, Laura. You are wonderful and I can’t wait to talk about these issues in greater depth once I make it to the side of book tour! : )

    Be well and enjoy your upcoming tour as well. Wish I were heading to the Midwest this round. (So please enjoy a Dairy Queen treat for me. I just know you’ll see a few….)


    • lauramunson

      I was just talking about your book with some women in San Francisco. They send their daughters to an all girl’s school where there is much emphasis on support and kindness. Isn’t that refreshing? I have a no gossip rule, and I love how it is so powerful to claim it publicly. High road behavior begets more high road behavior. xo back atchya. can’t WAIT to read your book. Laura

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